After my postal adventure, I went to my favorite Italian water-ice stand next to the Vatican. It was already closing down when I got there so no ice for me. Earlier, there was some organization giving away free bottled water so I went by for a second helping before hopping a train to the Pantheon. I figured I'd get a panini and try a Gelateria near the Pantheon that I hadn't been into yet. It was blazing hot out. I was pretty worn down. Instead of a sandwich I sat down at a lousy tourist restaurant and had a pan of spaghetti (seriously, they served it up in a pan for some reason... how 'rustic' of them) and a margarita pizza. Both were filling but not very exciting. I found myself feeling that lousy ennui again. I realized that I'd been pretty anti-social since Anthonette left. I wander out onto the streets and I get lost for hours. I see the new and the familiar and it all doesn't matter. Even the pretty girls make me tired. That's right, I sat there people watching (girl-watching) and thought to myself, "who cares?" I don't want to talk to them and they don't want to talk to me.
I finished my meal and checked out the gelato next door, even though pasta and pizza were ready to burst through my belly button. I chose three scoops, chocolate-orange, sesame seed, and of course, coconut. Worst combination ever. There's nothing worse than a string of unsatisfactory food. Especially when it costs so much.
As I walked and I walked, I wondered about this dip in my mood. I feared that with the heat in the upcoming countries over the next couple of months was going to make me miserable. Maybe I ought to take some people's advice and slip back to the States for a week. Take a breath. Maybe I'd surprise everyone and just show up on their doorstep. No. Too expensive. I could stick through this. I would escape this tourist crowd soon and experience the gritty streets of Delhi. I'd gasp my way up Mt. Fuji, sweat my way across the Great Wall. I'd see my mother's homeland and have amazing times with new friends.
Temporary doldrums. I just need to take it easy. I've just showered up and now I'll relax at the hostel. 6am train to catch in the morning. Tomorrow, Greece!
P.S.- Azad is pissed that I haven't broken out of my shell and that I've started to become repetitive. I'll try to pull myself out of this rut. In reality, I'm only recording the tough days here. The real magic I kinda have to keep to myself. (or share in a film later) Oh, and the above blog was written before I took a nice nap. I'm feeling much better now.