Back in Cairo... another hot day. I wandered the streets a bit on my way to the post office. Had some kushari for dinner and went back to do some reading at the hotel.
I started to feel a bit miserable. Three months of traveling. I miss my friends and family. I wonder what you're all up to. It trips me out to be lying on some bed in Africa, staring out the window wondering what's to become of my life. (I'm sure Anonymous has plenty of ideas but you can keep it to your damn self)
I fantasized about the 'perfect' life. I realized that I'd pretty much packed everything up before I left and upon my return, I'd still be 'traveling' essentially. There's no place of my own to return to. I'd love to come back to my own place. So that would require some sort of job. But then a full time job just gets in the way of my dreams. So the fantasy is to make just enough... Just enough to be on my own and to continue working on the dream. I'd like to have time to visit everyone who's helped me out these past few months. I'd like time to digest the experiences I'll come away with from the trip. America though, it's difficult not to conform. Will I return to the path of conformity or will I continue on the road less traveled? This freedom I have right now, how attached will I become to it?
At some point I'll want a partner. But I can't help but think that I won't accept anyone unless I'm on this path of conformity. I still haven't been able to shake that. Maybe I'm looking for the wrong type of woman. I've certainly run into many on my travels who aren't 'typical' in the late 20's, early 30's American sense.
I continued staring out the window and wondering whether I'd be able to pull the pieces of my master plan together. I looked to the journey ahead, the rough streets of India, the other sweaty beds I'd be lying in, in Southeast Asia, and the dire financial situation I'll be buried in once I return to Paradise.
I flipped through my ipod and put on the TMF '06 Video Mashup. This collection of pop hits from 2006 has become my new anthem on the second phase of the trip. In the beginning, I was lulled and intoxicated by Feist's albums but now, it's beat-filled dance music that reinvigorates. I got up in my hotel room and danced by myself in the dark. I danced like I knew how and I danced til sweat bathed my back and chest. I'm still alone. I'm still traveling. And I'm still livin' it.