Okay, okay, so I was freaking out a bit the last day or two. Hear me out, hear me out. It's one thing to say, hey, I'm going to quit my job of five years and travel around the world for eight months. But let me tell you, actually doing it is a whole other story. Let me remind people that a) I've never traveled anywhere for more than two weeks really b) I've always had a 'home' to return to c) I get miserably lonely sometimes.
That being said, it's been about three weeks. When you're traveling like I do, it means miles and miles (or kilometers and kilometers) of walking most days. Sweating, stinking, hunger, thirst, you name it. And I'm never staying in a private hotel room. I'm either trying to be inconspicuous at friend's homes or I'm staying in these, these hostels!
Hostel rant: Oh man, so I'm staying in my second hostel here in Dublin. Twelve people to a room, one bathroom. There's a couple sharing the bunk below me and they stole my pillow. Five or six of the people in my room snore. Someone's been coughing a lot and this morning the moment I dreaded had come- sickness. I had that awful sore throat you get right before a nasty cold. I sipped hot tea (and burnt my tongue!) in the kitchen this morning and it's feeling better. I wish I hadn't left my vitamins in Paris. The bathroom is nasty. I don't have 'shower' shoes. Actually I haven't showered yet. I'm going to wait til 3pm when the bathroom's been cleaned. Nor have I had my morning 'moment'. I really have to get over the fact that humans have to defecate and along with that comes plops and farts and wondrous sounds of the magical digestive system at work. And sometimes, at 7am, everyone's going to hear it regardless of how loud you believe the faucet is. I can't wait til the day when I can travel like a king, staying in hotels in fabulous places. But by then, I'll also being a working stiff. So for now, hostel-lujah to traveling like a stinky backpacker.
Where was I? Oh, no home. Whenever I'd traveled in the past, I always had a home to come back to with my own bedroom that smelled like sunflowers and honeybees (wha?), my OCD level clean bathroom, and my computer, TV, and whatever worthless doodads that give me comfort. On the bus the other day, I kept thinking about how I had completely closed up shop and now whatever made up that 'home' was spread across two cities in the US.
And the loneliness. Again, on another bus heading to another airport, I thought about how I had grown miserable and lonely in the states at times and here I was setting off on MY OWN to see the planet. I always had this mentality that I had to learn to be comfortable on my own before I could be comfortable being with someone else. At least that's what I'd tell myself to get through those quiet nights spent with cable TV. This journey was going to be a challenge. I was truly going to be forced to live with myself for a while. I'd meet people along the way but I'd never be anywhere long enough to have them available to me. At home, you've got family, coworkers, and the friends you can phone up (if they pick up) to hang out with. Right now that's gone.
I'm just giving you all an inside look at what's spinning through my head on this journey. I'll probably come cry on my blog now and then. Don't worry about it. Worse comes to worse, I'll just head home early (with a stop in Hawaii of course).