I mentioned the phenomenon of quick crushes in a previous post and one of my friends requested that I keep track of these girls in my blog. Basically, I encounter very pretty girls wherever I go and I usually don't say a word to them. I immediately start to fantasize about winning them over, usually with a cheesy pick up line, and watch as we fall for each other and live happily in our big house in the hills with my padded piano room and collection of black and white animals in the backyard (sorry, those were two inside jokes for my benefit).
So let's get started:
Paris- Bag check girl at the Louvre.
She was a young French girl with brown hair. I gave her my backpack and she asked me something in French. I looked lost and confused. Then she asked, 'English?... Do you have anything valuable in your bag?' I said no and left. After walking through the museum for a few hours I was excited to retrieve my bag.
Fantasy pick-up line: 'You're more beautiful than anything I've seen in this museum today.'
Reality: She was gone when I went to pick up my bag. A bald guy was in her place. But as he was getting my bag, she came back, saw me, and said, 'Bonsoir'. I smiled and shuffled away quickly. I danced home listening to Feist.
London- Nightclub girls.
I was dancing in a sweaty nightclub and spotted three brunettes throughout the night. I even bumped booties with one of them on the dance floor. But I said nothing and two of them eventually left as it got later. The one who remained wasn't being hassled by Caribbean dudes. She sat on a the edge of a table for a while. I kept trying to figure out if she knew I was shooting her glances.
Fantasy pick-up line: 'You look hot, can I buy you a cold drink?' The American accent would only intrigue her.
Reality: I said nothing and left with my friends to have Arab food. The next day, I state to my friend, 'In America, they would refer to me as a p#$$&.'
Labels: Crush
pussy!
Now you know why I left.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! i know what you mean about ten minute crushes. this one time, i was was drinking an orange soda, for like a sixth of an hour, when all of a sudden this giant crane that's like building a building or something breaks apart and falls for like a twelfth of two hours (it was a very tall building) and it like totally lands on this car that's driving by below. but the car is like a hummer or some shit and it takes the crane a good, oh i don't know, a good eighteenth of three hours to make the thing collapse.
dude! it was sweet
i think you are sweet...
Promise me in Spain there will be a Cyrano de Bergerac fantasy where I feed you lines in Spanish over a vonage phone. Safe travels!
dude. why do you look so sleazy in that picture with you and the two other dudes. you look like you've been tanning in miami somewhere plotting your next little back-alley sex-capade.
all you need is a pedophile mustache.
when you stopping in japan?
I think that the English are just fucking white. There ain't no sun over there. I think Tony has the best teeth of them. Remember to ask every fine looking babe a stupid quetion. This will hope break the ice. Then ask for their name. Occupation. and bust into "How does a guy like me get to knowin' you?" Believe me it will work. Try it ten times and let me know if you get laid. Believe, that shit works. If it doesn't ask them how to get rid of genital herpes. It will send a curve ball.